Thursday, January 7, 2010

Brand New? Even Better.

The Crocus - Native to southern Europe, North Africa, and Western China. Is said to rememble foresight for the oblivious.

Foresight - knowledge of future circumstances that cannot be deduced from present information.

2005 - Ovarian Cystectomy

2009 - Diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer

2010 - Officially in Remission.

My body is winning new battles, so will I. The new steps I've taken?

  • Standing up for myself by rooting out all the weeds in my garden. This includes nearly banishing my 'best friend', deleting both my Facebook and Myspace accounts and refusing to deal with anything/anyone I don't feel I deserve to have to deal with.

  • Learning not to attach my feelings to everything/everyone. My emotions are invaluable and only people/things of great value deserve to share them with me.

  • Letting myself wallow in my thoughts rather than putting them aside. I've reached the stage where outside opinions have no value to me. Sure, it's nice to please other people but how can you be happy with yourself if you aren't happy in the first place?

I'm on a new branch in my life and though I have millions of questions, I understand everything perfectly now. It took me years to figure out, but all I had to do was push the obstuctions out the way. I'll admit. It hurts more than I ever imagined it would. But knowing that it's for the best and finally acting on what my mind has been telling me to do for ages keeps me standing. It sort of feels like I've finally broken out the cage people have built up around me. Though I see the light, and it makes me happy of course, it's blinding me right now. I have to let my eyes adjust.

The flower? It stands for 'foresight'. This resonates with me. Though I have no proof of what may happen tomorrow, I can almost see how bright and amazingly fulfilled my life will be.

2010, here I come. :)

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