In October of 2008 I became a Christian. I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior. But there's still a ton of issues I need to work out. I believe in the works of Jesus. I also believe that he died for our sins and he's proven to have committed the ultimate sacrifice. But where does the whole 'God' part come in? I'll admit. I'm beyond 'undereducated' about Christianity as a whole. Maybe that's why I've been expecting all the wrong things.
Isn't God supposed to be a comfort? Isn't He supposed to be someone that I can confide my troubles in and He'll help me with my walk through these valleys of ashes? And if all that is true, how does it work exactly?
Don't get me wrong. I'm blessed in every sense of the word. I have a roof over my head, food to eat and enough health to live my life. It's just that the things that are wrong are terribly wrong.
Call me selfish if you like, but I would give anything to be like the Christians who surround me. They have such faith in God. They've experienced his blessings first hand. They feel an exclusive bond between themselves and God Himself. When am I gonna get those things?
I guess those things are experiences that will come in time. Things that if I'm patient enough to wait for I'll get to enjoy myself. I guess they're also things that if I keep my faith in God alive He won't let me down.
The wait is so tiring. As a 16 year old girl, I'm tired.