Wednesday, January 20, 2010

The End

I've reached the point where life is no longer healthy for me. It's detrimental to every facet of my being and seems to kick me in the face every time I find the strength to stand back up.

So I've decided to quit. I give up. I surrender to everything/everyone.

It's taken me 16 years, but I've realized that I'm simply not strong enough to fight any longer. I've pushed through every obstacle thrown at me, but the last ones were the final blow.

This will be my last post. My last vocal. My last light.

Life's been a damn good game to play. There were moments where I actually thought I may get somewhere! There were moments where I could smile on the outside and not have a feeling of doubt about it's sincerity in the inside. Those times never last, though. I'm through with getting my hopes up just to be disappointed again.

Until the bounds of eternity come within my reach, Goodbye.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I Dislike Myself Greatly For This...


About a year ago I went to our public library and I read one of the greatest books I've ever read. It was beautiful. And I usually don't describe things as 'beautiful'.

But then tragedy struck. About six months later I went to tell a friend about it and I couldn't remember the name or the author of the damn book! So I've been scouring the internet for ages hunting it down. It's not a book that's 'popular' or 'bestselling' so it's been a pain in the ass to find.

So till this day I still search the internet. I would probably be better off just going to the public library again and having them tell me what the name of the book I checked out is, but I'm too spastic to remember things like that... :/

Oh well.

*Nom Nom*


Yakinku Horumonyaki is do die for. I was nearly brought to tears when I tasted it.
I am moving to Japan.
Now.

I'm So Proud of Myself!


I had a dream last night! And Anna n e v e r has dreams!
It was splendid. :)

I Can't Sleep!


Only 9 more days until my birthday!! :D

9!
Nine!
Nuen!
Nueve!
:D

I'll be a sexy, ambitious, sexy, SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD!

I have a feeling I'll like 17 more than 16. 16 was an abomination by all definitions existing.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Relapse


A n d I k n o w I ' m o n l y m a k i n ' i t w o r s e .

Aggghhh!


I have frequent headaches/migraines and they suuuuck huge hairy ape balls (Yes. I feel very passionately about my hatred for headaches/migraines).

Headaches/migraines should go castrate themselves and eat the remnants. Bah!


Anna. Hates. Headaches. *slash*. Migraines.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Here We Go...


In October of 2008 I became a Christian. I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior. But there's still a ton of issues I need to work out. I believe in the works of Jesus. I also believe that he died for our sins and he's proven to have committed the ultimate sacrifice. But where does the whole 'God' part come in? I'll admit. I'm beyond 'undereducated' about Christianity as a whole. Maybe that's why I've been expecting all the wrong things.


Isn't God supposed to be a comfort? Isn't He supposed to be someone that I can confide my troubles in and He'll help me with my walk through these valleys of ashes? And if all that is true, how does it work exactly?

Don't get me wrong. I'm blessed in every sense of the word. I have a roof over my head, food to eat and enough health to live my life. It's just that the things that are wrong are terribly wrong.

Call me selfish if you like, but I would give anything to be like the Christians who surround me. They have such faith in God. They've experienced his blessings first hand. They feel an exclusive bond between themselves and God Himself. When am I gonna get those things?

I guess those things are experiences that will come in time. Things that if I'm patient enough to wait for I'll get to enjoy myself. I guess they're also things that if I keep my faith in God alive He won't let me down.

The wait is so tiring. As a 16 year old girl, I'm tired.

Eeeeeek!


So I watched this scary ass movie that premiered on Syfy last night and that shiz was messed up! It was called House of Bones. More like House of Scary Dead White People!


It starts out with an alright premise. You can't expect much of a plot when it comes to Syfy movies. Apparently the 'cast' of a show called Sinister Sites goes to homes to 'investigate'. The characters make it very clear that none of the places they go to are actually haunted and they just make all the scary moments happen themselves. Well these bitches weren't ready for the Wicker house!


Long story short, the house is fuckin' alive, it fuckin' kidnaps people, and they find out the only way to escape the house is to put dead bodies down the fuckin' well in the backyard. WTF!


*Horrified rant*
And then that chick started chucking blood! And that other chick was killed when the house put glass through her head! And the white guy killed all the survivors INCLUDING the black guy! Lawdy...


Lmao! I'm done. I promise.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

In Such Times of Panic






Same pose, different emotions. :)
I t c o m e s n a t u r a l l y . . .

Sperry Heaven


JIZZ IN MY PANTS!

Friday, January 15, 2010

What They've Done


Pass me down through generations.
Flush me scarlet with raw frustration.
In such a stage of desperation,
There's no room for hesitation.
The sky cannot limit the creation of my imagination.
Only my worthless salvation.
The dreams I have yet to forgive and forget
Sweat.
And leave my damaged conscience upset.
These empty words printed in ink.
Enough to make the wisest scholars sink.
Enough to parallel the severe to think.
I'm pushed to believe in the Ever-Thriving God.
When can I get to know Him without the fa├žade?
Without the immoral debauchery?
Can He mute the masses just to speak with me?
Can He abolish the debris,
That pushes me through life so harshly?
All I need is one reason to lay those words on my heart.
Then no longer will our worlds be apart.
No longer will his presence simply be art.
Rather, our connection will transcend through my wronged passions.
I will have extinct Earthly rations.
The scholars will resume their study.
The severe will resume lingering.
All I will resume passing.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

I'm Such a Girl...


I had a nice long poem thing about that kid. But those words don't do justice. None do really. What I'm feeling right now is raw. I would like to be confident and think that these are scars time can heal, but who knows.


I'm being so over emotional. I understand. I feel I deserve it though. It's time for me to show myself some self respect and appreciation. If I feel like crying hysterically when I'm home alone, so be it! If I feel I can 'out-sing' Mariah Carey while I'm in the shower, I'll sing (scream) my heart out. If someone is annoying, stupid, or just an all around fail then I'm voicing my opinion. Bah.


*sigh*

One of these days I'll break out of this realm of darkness and I'll be able to see the light everyone keeps telling me about...

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Yay!


I just got asked to prom!!

YAYYY!!!


I don't think I'll go though. He isn't exactly the person I envisioned going with, ya know? There's nothing wrong with the kid of course. There's just someone else I'd rather go with.

But oh well! Until next yearrrrrrr!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Goodnight


Wishes are flustered with calm.
Smooth and fluid dreams awaken.
For us to grab.
Yet, the intangible mass of these dreams
is what keeps them flowing.

:) Goodnight.

Monday, January 11, 2010

$4.77


I would like to think that the worst is behind me. Or that the storm is over, though the clouds haven't faded away. Now that I can bear to smile, it's time for some of my 'work'.


The bitter tea seems to quench my thirst.
My tongue contracts with the awful absence of sugar.
So sweet.
So sweet the foreign aspect tasted.
Shall I return home?
Give into the familiar fullness of pleasure?
Or inure myself.
Inure myself to the brutal antics of such sharp edges?
I flex my mouth to push the waters in and out through my nerves.
Such a feeling I don't deserve.
Another pass.
I let go of the glass.
The taste seems to harass me.
It grips and won't let go.
I smile, but quickly let it fold.
No surface can I expose if I want to hold on to this moment.
I throw my head back in near ecstasy.
My feet slide in such slow, parallel positions.
It all seems to fit.
The muscles between my le-
"Ma'am. Would you like more tea?"

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Insanity > Sanity


"Damn, Anna! You've been posting a lot lately!" I know, I knowww. Tons of ideas for posts are shooting out my head.

Speaking of, my brother and I were discussing life in general. He then asked me how does a person know if he/she is insane or not. This is a question of epic proportions.

When a person is insane, the impossible is possible, and it's rational to them. If they hear Michael Jackson singing to them as they pee in a public restroom, they think nothing of it. Why? Because that's totally normal/possible.

So I took to the internet, and here are a few signs if you're insane or completely sane.

You know you're insane if...
  1. Aluminum foil now takes up half of your grocery budget.

  2. The voices in your head are hearing voices in THEIR heads.

  3. The walls in this hotel are all padded...

  4. The voices in your head are telling you to shut up.

  5. You turn yourself into the police for tearing the tag off your mattress.

  6. "I am...Batman!"

  7. That's the third hooker you've killed this week.

  8. You can't tell if the person is talking or not.

  9. You have a second aluminum foil deflector beany backup.

XD Pure hilarity!

Allow Me To Re-Introduce Myself


My name is Anna Patrice Warren. I live in South Carolina and I'm still stuck in high school. Everyone says these are the best years of my life, and I agree. But their reasoning for thinking so is different than mine.


In my life time, this seems to be my Age of Enlightenment. XD I've had a bit of fun, but it's been the times when I was down and out that taught me the most.


I'm turning seventeen soon, and Lawd knows I'll be so happy when I break out of being sixteen. Lol

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Stay by Sugarland


I've been sitting here staring at the clock on the wall.
And I've been laying here praying. Praying she won't call.
It's just another call from home.
You'll get it and be gone and I'll be crying.

And I'll be begging you, Baby. Beg you not to leave.
But I'll be left here waiting with my heart on my sleeve.
Oh, for the next time we'll be here.
Seems like a million years and I think I'm dying.
What do I have to do to make you see she can't love you like me?

Why don't you stay? I'm down on my knees.
I'm so tired of being lonely. Don't I give you what you need?
When she calls you to go, there is one thing you should know.
We don't have to live this way. Baby, why don't you stay?

You keep telling me, "Baby, there will come a time..."
When you will leave her arms and forever be in mine.
But I don't think that's the truth.
And I don't like being used and I'm tired of waiting.
It's too much pain to have to bear.
To love a man you have to share.

Why don't you stay? I'm down on my knees.
I'm so tired of being lonely. Don't I give you what you need?
When she calls you to go, there is one thing you should know.
We don't have to live this way. Baby, why don't you stay?

I can't take it any longer, but my will is getting stronger.
And I think I know just what I have to do.
I can't waste another minute.
After all that I've put in it.
I've given you my best, why does she get the best of you?
So the next time you find,
You wanna leave her bed for mine.

Why don't you stay?
I'm up off my knees.
I'm so tired of being lonely. You can't give me what I need.
When she begs you not to go, there is one thing you should know.
I don't have to live this way.
Baby, why don't you stay?

Friday, January 8, 2010

The Shining by Stephen King



A struggling family. A drunk. A creepy ass hotel and even creepier ghosts. Sounds corny, but Mr. King delievers quite a story.


King makes the story believeable. He also has enough foils to 'balance' out the story. King understands that the audience will take advantage of the Hermeneutics of Suspicion. But just in time other characters join in on the looney-times.

I recommend this book for older teens and adults. Why? Some situations most likely won't be understood by a younger audience. I'm just a random exception. And it may seem like a long read, but I promise the pages will fly by.

Shortly and sweetly? A largely interesting, humorous, terrifying (emphasis on terrifying), and accomplished read.

4.6/5 Stars

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Brand New? Even Better.


The Crocus - Native to southern Europe, North Africa, and Western China. Is said to rememble foresight for the oblivious.

Foresight - knowledge of future circumstances that cannot be deduced from present information.


2005 - Ovarian Cystectomy

2009 - Diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer

2010 - Officially in Remission.


My body is winning new battles, so will I. The new steps I've taken?


  • Standing up for myself by rooting out all the weeds in my garden. This includes nearly banishing my 'best friend', deleting both my Facebook and Myspace accounts and refusing to deal with anything/anyone I don't feel I deserve to have to deal with.

  • Learning not to attach my feelings to everything/everyone. My emotions are invaluable and only people/things of great value deserve to share them with me.

  • Letting myself wallow in my thoughts rather than putting them aside. I've reached the stage where outside opinions have no value to me. Sure, it's nice to please other people but how can you be happy with yourself if you aren't happy in the first place?

I'm on a new branch in my life and though I have millions of questions, I understand everything perfectly now. It took me years to figure out, but all I had to do was push the obstuctions out the way. I'll admit. It hurts more than I ever imagined it would. But knowing that it's for the best and finally acting on what my mind has been telling me to do for ages keeps me standing. It sort of feels like I've finally broken out the cage people have built up around me. Though I see the light, and it makes me happy of course, it's blinding me right now. I have to let my eyes adjust.


The flower? It stands for 'foresight'. This resonates with me. Though I have no proof of what may happen tomorrow, I can almost see how bright and amazingly fulfilled my life will be.

2010, here I come. :)

Monday, January 4, 2010

Minimalism



Sometimes all I want is a hug. Or a hello. Or a smile.


Perferably a hug though.














(I lied. I prefer kisses.)

Saturday, January 2, 2010

It's Time to Fight Back

Every year on average 100,000 people report being raped. And that's just in the United States. The average arrest rate? 25%. Some of you may say, "Well, it's the victims' fault there's such a low arrest rate. They should just say something and get help." For rape victims, it isn't that easy.

Rape kits cost $1,500.
46% of rape kits are never sent for testing.
The victims aren't eligible for protection against the people they are accusing. More than half of rape cases are dropped by victims during trial.

No matter how serious the incident (the victim could be intoxicated, underage, or threatened with weapons) it is still legal for the accused to get off with no time. In fact there are four types of rape cases where the limit for time is 15 years.

Is anyone else boiling with fury?

Sure molestation, assult and rape can cause physical pain to victims, but the mental damage can be difficult or impossible to repair. The feeling of being 'dirty' no matter how many suds you slather on yourself. Trusting no one, including the ones you love. Have little to no self confidence. Most of all, being stripped of that nice thought in the back of your head that things as intimate and personal as intercourse are under your control.

Rapists should all burn in hell like the scum they are. Bitches...